On Happiness, Crepes & Smaller Pants

Hey y’all, happy Monday. I know it’s Monday because I have a job that hasn’t been canceled, for that I am grateful. You know what else I am grateful for? Crepes. Crepes are one of my favorite things ON EARTH. They are light, lovely bits of heaven on a breakfast plate. You can have them savory or sweet. Swirled and rolled with cream, strawberries, kissed by powdered sugar, garnished with a wee bit of fresh mint….Perfection. I literally close my eyes when I eat them.

Only I don’t eat them anymore because they make you, and by you I mean me, they make you super fat and fluffy. A desirable trait in whipping cream. Not as much on my person, which does fluffy on its own quite nicely.

I am not here to debate body shape or everyone is beautiful, blah, blah, blah. You do you, I’ll do me, and ME doesn’t want to have to wiggle into double digit pants for the rest of my life. That makes me very unhappy which makes the people in my life unhappy which throws off the small universe to which I belong. So I started dieting.

Atkins, Keto, whatever you want to call it, anything low carb has always helped me shed the unwanted pounds. In the past, I could drop 8-10 pounds a week. BOOM. No problem. As you get older, everything slows down I suppose and this was no exception. I’ve lost about 2 pounds a week, still a decent rate but nothing like the lightening speed of my youth. I dropped from a SCARY 203 pounds to 177 since the first of May. I am still considered overweight on my BMI chart but no longer in the obese range. My pants are still double digit but slide on with relative ease, I even had to steal one of my husband’s belts.

That is all well and good but the low carb train can get pretty sad and boring. You know why? Because there are no crepes on it. THAT’S why. A crepeless existence.

Yesterday, all that changed. It was a rainy, hot Sunday morning and while I had beautiful, big, butter-soaked, blueberry muffins dripping with brown sugar in the oven for my people, I was staring at fried eggs with no small degree of loathing. So I Googled Keto Crepes. I gathered my ingredients. I whipped, heated, poured and flipped. I stacked them tenderly in a warmer before filling them with savory deliciousness.

I ate them. My people ate them. And they were so good I hid them from my people. Those people could have muffins, I’ll be damned if they were gonna eat all my newly discovered low-carb crepe deliciousness.

Thankfully I had some almond flour in my freezer, something I promise you I won’t run out of again. Ever. That, along with cream cheese, eggs, milk, a wee bit of sweetener and TADA! Because the strawberry and powered sugar filling wasn’t a viable option, I went the other direction. I oven-fried bacon until it was crispy and crumbled it up. I caramelized very thinly sliced purple onions in gobs of butter. And I found some honeyed goat cheese I spontaneously nabbed up on my last trip to Aldi’s.

I ate them with my eyes closed.