As you, my fair readers know, I try to keep things here at The Wicked Chicken, happy and carefree.  But something happened today that really irritated me.  A person (and I know who) stole this from the bathroom where I work.  “Black Cherry Merlot Foaming Hand Soap” from Bath and Body Works.

Since I work with a bunch of men I pretty much have the ‘girls’ bathroom to myself although it is open for customer use.  This soap was a birthday gift from my sister, she gave it to me last week for my 32nd year on earth.  It was the only present I got.  My husband had my car cleaned for me but THIS was the only gift I received wrapped with a card that read “Wash your hands, Don’t get Ebola”.  I love my sister.

This is my sister, Rita, standing behind a giant chicken.

So, instead of taking it home where I have a pretty much zero chance of catching a deadly disease, I put it by the sink at work since we had been out of soap for a while.  It smelled great and I thought of her each time I washed my hands.  Today I used it in the morning, my sister came by to visit around lunch and she used it (I know because I called and asked her).  Then we had ONE women come in that afternoon and use the bathroom.  I know her mother, a 60-something with no teeth that brags about her 2 parrots who cost over a thousand dollars apiece yet the women can’t read or fill out her own checks.  So while I filled out her check for parrot food the daughter uses the bathroom (she is probably 40).  The next customer who arrives is a man who likes to talk chickens and wanted me to come outside to see his dog.  I petted the nice creature then went inside to wash my hands.  No soap.  There was still soap foam in the bottom of the wet sink and I could smell the Black Cherry Merlot, but the soap, the still new, full bottle was simply gone.

I asked all the men if they had taken it for some reason.  I asked Addie and to make sure she was telling the truth I searched the trash cans to ensure nothing happened she wasn’t telling me.  Although she was so adamant about calling the police I know she was innocent.

That trashy woman took my birthday soap.

And I am still mad.

I thought about writing her mother a letter but heck, she couldn’t read it.  Besides, how do you write a “I know your daughter stole my birthday soap from the bathroom at the feed store and I want it replaced” letter without sounding like a complete idiot?

Moral of the story:  Don’t leave your birthday soap at work otherwise you will be mad, risk getting seriously ill and smell like dog.