Wicked Walk 28/May/18

I promised y’all a walk soon and here it is!

I suppose 97% of Americans who aren’t at work on Memorial Day spend it at the lake.  I am not part of the 97%.  First of all, I can’t swim.  I sink like a rock.  Secondly, I’m REALLY white.  Like, blindingly and I don’t want to hurt anyone.  Third.  Well, sometimes I would just rather be alone.  And I haven’t taken a wicked walk in forever so I laced up my holey tennis shoes, yanked on some old shorts, grabbed my Canon and headed for the woods!

Here is what I saw.

Technically the mushroom was in my yard.  But let’s not bother with details like that, agreed?  Agreed.  Sweetgum balls are very annoying but can be amusing when stuck in odd places.  Like the barbed wire fence around the horse pasture.  When I stopped to look at it, I spied a blackberry.  Then I spied another one.  And so on and so forth until I had collected quite the handful.  They were delicious.  Then I saw one of the dogs pee on a bush and considered how raccoons wash their food before eating it.  I think they may be on to something.

“I didn’t pee on nothin’ Mama.  Promise.”


Before taking off on this cow trail I stooped down to find a spider stick.  Spider sticks are essential when taking early morning walks in the forest.  Unless you want an involuntary ninja lesson at 8:30 a.m.  Spider webs will do that you know.  To use, hold upright at arm’s length and wave wildly in front of your face while maintaining a steady walking pace.  Just don’t do it in public.  You may get arrested.  Or committed.

I managed to avoid the spiders but not the turtles!  Which is fine because I love turtles and find them completely non-threatening.

I can’t say he felt the same way about us.

Ninja lesson averted.

One nice thing about the cows making paths is that they maintain them, creating a park-like atmosphere.

Which is wonderful because I don’t even have time to weed my flower bed.

Crossing the creek I noticed these little fellows.

And this baby elm, growing out of a tiny hole in a leaf from the mother tree.

You know what’s funny?  Pretty much everything is a habit.  Good or bad, pretty or ugly, whatever.  I realized today that noticing things is a habit as well.  When I walked every Wednesday, back when I started this blog some years back, I noticed things.  Little things.  I’ll not say everything because I’m sure there was a lot I missed but I was aware of my surroundings.  Today, I found myself just busily scanning the trees, declaring “There is nothing to see here”, and walking on.  Then I saw that baby elm.  What a miracle, right there in front of my eyes and I wasn’t even seeing it.  Yes, noticing is indeed a habit.  One I need to get back into.

Slow down all you people, and NOTICE!  Also, don’t text and drive.

That concludes todays PSA.  Moving on.

As I went through the back pasture I thought how lucky the cows were to be lying down in the shade.

They spied me and must have thought my camera was a 50 pound sack of cubes, because they all got up and started running towards me.  All 23 of them plus their babies.

Where da’ cubes at Mama?

Hey, y’all remember Sugar Cube?  The calf whose Mama rejected her last year?  She has a sister!  The baby on the right, and her mother likes her just fine.  Thank goodness.

Finally made it back into the woods and was delighted to find some wild strawberries!  The blackberries had worn off and I ate one (guess I’m a slow learner).

But it tasted like nothing.  Like eating a dew drop.  So I left the rest for the raccoons and birds.

Hi there Mr. Dragonfly!  Or Mrs. Damselfly.  Whoever you are.

This was all fine and well until the deer flies discovered my presence.  And I guess they have some kinda super sophisticated deer fly communication system because suddenly they were on me like white on rice.  I ran a little ways, slinging my pony tail like a deranged mustang but it didn’t help much.  So that made strolling a bit less pleasant.

The flowers were still pretty, even surrounded by the deer flies and me.  And look at the butterfly bush!  I actually saw it the day before, while riding the 4-wheeler and just had to come back so I could share it with all of you!  There are several right here on the pipeline, a colony if you will.  I’m concerned that when they come to mow the pipeline the bushes will have not gone to seed yet.  I’m thinking about making some kind of protest.  Like when those tree hugging folks chain themselves in front of dozers?  But I can’t exactly chain myself to a butterfly bush.  Maybe I should just leave a note on the gate.

p.s.  no one get offended I said tree hugger, okay.  Take a joke y’all, take a joke….

This pine is one of the few not cleaned up from the tornado we had a Christmas.  Nearly wiped us all out.  Not fun.

I was trying to get a closer, better shot of the salamander but a deer fly landed on my thigh and I jumped 39.5 feet into the air and by the time I landed, he was long gone.

There were a lot of other pretty things to see, but by this time I was over a mile from the house and pouring sweat and the flies…….so I just hustled on home.

glad to see my driveway.

Thanks for walking with me today, I know it was long!  And before you go, check out this article my mom wrote for Parade magazine.  It explains Memorial Day, its history and the reason we honor it.

Love you peeps!



3 thoughts on “Wicked Walk 28/May/18

  1. Beautiful place along with the flowers, cows, critters & pests! I know you must enjoy those walks! Deer flies, I hate them! If I could of attracted girls when I was a young dude the way I attract deer flies now and all the other buzzers and biters I would have been more famous than Elvis!! Every time I pull up to the house there is a swarm of deer flies (aka yellow flies) here in Jawjah swarming around my truck like giddy young girls around the latest hunk on stage gyrating his hips! The flies make me gyrate too & I’m so happy no one has a phone set to video pointed at me because I would become a viral hit on social media! The deer flies must of gradiated (that is what Jethro says he did on Beverly Hillbillies & I think he said he gradiated 5th grade which is probably smarter than lot of them with diplomas from high school now days) with honors from blood suckers U cause they sure know how to get to my blood! I spray with Deep Woods Off (or take a bath in it is more like it) when I go out but they can find the spot on my back where I couldn’t spray and drop their drilling rig right through my shirt! I’m like you jumping 39.5 feet but I think I jumped maybe 40 feet so see if you can top my record! Turtles, they are remind me of my driving! I generally drive the speed limit which annoys 99.9% of others on the road but it sure is sweet revenge, after they blow by me risking everyones life around them, to pull up beside them at the next light or better yet pass them with Barney Fife and his blue lights flashing having pulled them over! But turtles have a habit of wanting to hang around highways! Looks like the hot asphalt would make them do a little dance to get to the bushes again but they sit there making us who love them do whacky moves to either straddle them, swerve or slow way down to maneuver around them if a car is coming from the opposite direction! But only a turtle knows why and I ain’t found one yet that would speak to tell me why so I could encourage them to stretch their little legs way out and run on asphalt! Keep up the beautiful walks! I do indeed think all of us pass up the beauty God prepares for us everyday in His awesome creation! God bless you and your funny posts! I love your humor!


    • I know what you mean about those turtles Dave! I’ve done my share of crazy moves to keep from hitting them and have been know to stop and hurry their journey along if time and traffic allow. Think I’ll go get me a can of Deep Woods too, I don’t really want to try and beat your jumping record, hahaha!!!


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